FAT CAT TOLD TO LOSE HALF HIS BODYWEIGHT

Socrates the cat has been put on a strict diet after ballooning to double the size of a normal moggy.

"What the fuck you call me bitch?"

So you think he doesnt look that fat huh? Well cop a load of this…

"So what? You need botox and your teeth bleachin' ho!"

The black and white feline weighs in at 10.1kg but has been given 100 days to get down to his target weight of 4.5kg.

Owner Bill Duncan from Newcastle says the long-haired cat is going to have to cut down on his favourite cheese and onion crisps (WTF!).

From now on the supersized pet will be limited to two 50g helpings of special diet food a day which Mr Duncan hopes will give him more get-up-and-go.

Five-year-old “Socs” joins eight other finalists in charity PDSA’s Pet Fit Club where owners help their animals shift the podge to improve their life ‘pet-spectancy.’

Socrates’ competitors include Tara the roly-poly labrador who tips the scales at a whopping 41.6kg and Smoky the porky puss who weighs 86% more than a regular moggy.

A recent survey of owners by PDSA found the most common treats given to pets include leftovers, cheese, fatty meats, chips and biscuits.

They also found that many four-legged friends are not taken for a daily walk.